Spooky Pookie

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery... as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays.

So a World-Wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Priestly Visit

There was a priest who went into the country to pay a visit to a 92-year-old church member. She welcomed him into the parlor. While she made tea, he looked around and saw a beautiful oak pump organ with a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was half filled with water and a condom was floating on top of it. He dare not say anything.

After tea, curiosity got the best of him and the priest asked her about it.

She replied, "While in town I found a little foil package on the sidewalk and took it home. The directions on the back said 'keep wet and put on your organ to prevent disease.' And you know, I think it works! I haven't had a cold all winter!"

Blonde in Heaven

A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."

"OH, NO!" exclaimed the blonde.

But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.

The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy."

"Andy? That's interesting. What made you say that?" inquired Saint Peter.

Then the blonde started to sing, "Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me..."

Adam's Rib

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Austin seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of Adam's rib. Later in the week, Wendy, his mother, noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Austin, what's the matter?"

Little Austin responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

The Cleaning Lady

The cleaning lady is stealing from the church's till, so the priest decides to hide the statue of Jesus and catch her in the act. The cleaning lady comes, kneels, looks at the icon of the virgin Mary, and says, "Holy Mother, I really need this money. My third child needs shoes. I'm going to take this money, and i promise to return it one day when i'm rich. Well, Holy Motherm you're not saying anything, so i gather you don't have an objection."

The priest says in a very low voic fom behind the statue of Jesus, "No, you may not!".

The cleaning lady looks at Jesus and says, "If you don't mind, i'm having a conversation with your mother."